jika ini takdirmu

mungkin ini adalah antara jalan-jalan yang dibuka untuk aku melihat dengan lebih jelas.

maka,

aku harus membuka mata dengan lebih luas.

BERUSAHA!!!

You,

I know I have told you before.

For so many times.

But, you may not take it serious.

Why is that so?

Why do you seem to not understand?

Maybe because I am not yours.

Or maybe you think I am just a little kid without feelings.

Now, let me tell you AGAIN.

I miss you la babe.

and please understand the feeling.

And, please let me forget you.

It is so hurt that you are everywhere that I could not resist.

to those beautiful people. i love you..hehe

This is not our favorite song
but the night is moving right along
may I have your hand, may I have this dance.

I sense that you are amused,
but you just bought those brand new shoes.
It would be such a shame not to give us the chance.

And oh my love there is only so many dances we can take across the night.

So while is just me and you
I thought I might say to you
You put the beautiful in life.

I know at times that you feel alone
when I'm here and I'm never home.
You said before is the price that you pay.

On matters of clarity
is not secret you are carrying me.
But you disguise thoughts of fall
I will keep you safe.

And oh my love there is only so many dances we can take across the night.

So while is just me and you
I thought I might say to you
You put the beautiful in life.

And oh....
oh...oh...

This is not our favorite song
but I wish it go on and on
it's moments like these
singers do all they can to stop time.

So let me just say to you
before the DJ changes the tune
you put the beautiful in life
you put the beautiful in life

kandas

dan seperti biasa, aku tidak sekuat yang aku sangka.

hujan yang lebat menemani sepanjang perjalanan.

memahami isi hati yang tidak termampu terluah.

menangisi setiap satu cebis memori.

yang aku kira tiada siapa dan apa yang mampu memahami.

tertawa hilai mereka memperkecilkan perasaan hati.

tidak sedikit pun berkudis di hati.

kerna aku tahu aku bodoh dalam menilai sesuatu.

begitu naif berharap sesuatu yang sudah pasti tiada harapan.

cuma hati kecil ini masih menipu mengharapkan keajaiban.

aku kira aku kuat, tapi aku tidak rupanya.

pada dia aku luahkan segala resah, dan pada DIA aku berserah.

cukup hanya mendengar, aku jadi sebak.

cukup hanya mengingati, aku hampir menangisi.

dan cukup hanya dengan pelukan dan kata-kata ringkas yang dititipkan,

aku terKANDAS di jalanan.

jika mampu aku laung pekikkan, mahu aku khabarkan seantero dunia.

namun aku masih menjadi diri aku yang takut lagi kerdil berdepan dengan kenyataan.

aku mahu lari tapi aku penat di tengah jalan.

aku mahu jalan tapi aku rasa letih di jalanan.

maka biar aku sendiri meratapi sisa-sisa kasih yang aku ada.

gelakkan, ketawakan aku, hilai tawakanlah aku.

aku terima. kerana kau tidak tahu apa yang aku rasa.

p.s: i have made up my mind, i have to believe in it.

p.s.s: aku rindu kau!

heartbroken

It is weird isn't it? In my previous entry, i was falling in love again but i beg to differ now. I am officially heartbroken. I am depressed of my current situation, enough said. There are lots of things can be considered as the factors of my broken hearted. Financially, emotionally, physically and lots more.

In term of financial, what can i say is that I am dead poor. This is not what I want to be. I want to be someone else. I need to think again of all the decisions I have made. Maybe I have to take the U-turn instead of heading straight to nowhere.

The emotion part, as usual I am not as strong as I always thought. I am weakening day by day. I need to refill the fuel in order to move on. But, as you concern, the fuel price is increasing and getting expensive nowadays. And, as I have financial problem as stated above, it makes me unable to buy the fuel of my heart. I know that I have to let it go but it is not that easy to make it done. It takes a lot of courage which I am lack of it at the moment. I did not have the courage to be friend with her as you have warned me not to do so. But things are different now. I am disturbed. I have to bare with it alone without you knowing it and it is hurt. Only God knows how much I love you and this relationship but for the sake of your life, I am willingly to pull back. Let me be the Miss Peace Universe.

Physically, I have problems with myself. I do not have the confidence to be in public. And, with this finger that still has stitches on it, I can't move a lot and do things that I want to do. I want to recover soon.

And, there are lots more that have been haunting me which contribute to my depression.

Okay, enough for today.

fall in love again

aku jatuh cinta sekali lagi.

ketenangan dan kedamaian yang ditemui.

bahagia dan gembira.

terima kasih tidak terhingga.

sesungguhnya tiada kesal di hati.

aku bersyukur.

Alhamdulillah.

p.s: mengapa aku menangis tatkala mendengar suara beliau. tsk tsk.

indahnya...

"Allah SWT beri kita ulat beluncas agar kita dapat menikmati keindahan sang rama-rama."

punca

p.s: hari minggu yang kurang memberansangkan. moga dikuatkan iman dan ditabahkan hati....

saya rindu...

BOOOO!!! It took me ages to update my blog. I am adapting myself with the current affairs. And, I don't feel like blogging. However, I have lots of things I want to share but let me keep it to myself I guess. Nonetheless, I want to share that I am having heartache at the moment. It may sounds cheesy or whatsoeva but I dont mind. There's nothing wrong to be honest indeed honesty is the best policy. So, here is my genuine confession which I would not dare to regret doing it. kebabom!!! tadaaa!!! here it is: I MISS MY FRIENDS BADLY!!!!!! huhu...Everyone has started working their ass off. I miss those days where we spent time together like there will be no days after tomorrow, all the pillow-mattress-floor talked, day-night out, mamam2 time, even gadoh2 time...huhu..seriously guys, I miss you no kidding!

This was during our pre-degree.

@ rumah sewa 17. Flat tikus mati..muahaha

Dinner MMS black n gold. Our first dinner.

During 50hours non-stop Debate. Buat keje separuh mati siap masuk Malaysia Book Record tapi xdapat2 sijil pon lagi..hahaha

In CTU class. Semangat beli handphone baru yang cume sekejap hayatnye..huhu

In one of our modules. Saat-saat akhir bersama handphone baru beli sebelum ia hilang.. T-T




This was during Operasi Handphone Mak yang jatuh dari tingkat 9 ke bawah..pagi2 buta around 1am-2am okay!!



Saket mata beramai-ramai dan pergi ke kelas. Gila stylo!





Zaman-zaman tunggu bus kat Suria.

With housemate before went to our pre-grad dinner.

220 U8A in memory.

p.s: there are lotsa pictures, friends and memories. these are just a few of it. enjoy!

p.s.s: i miss you so much!