Sunday Blues

I don't know what should I feel right now. It is rather mixed feelings with absence mind, maybe. I have lots of questions wandering inside my mind that force me to think, digest, think, digest and the cycle goes on. Have you ever fall in love? Or, do you still have your 'bestest' friend with you all the time? These are some of the questions that burden me.

Last night, I was searching for something that I really need to use when I found my stuffs from those days. There are love letters, teddy bears, cards, letters, key chains, photos etc. All of these stuffs has brought me back to all the memories that I have been keeping in a special place in my heart. When I read those cards and letters, I can feel the emotions at that particular moment. Reminiscing those moments made me feel that I am bad. Those people were there during my pitfall.They were there to support me, to encourage me, to brighten up my days. But now, they are not here anymore. Am I not a good lover either a good friend?Maybe I made walls and distance with them. I was not able to appreciate them. And, now it makes sense why they are getting away from me.

Maybe I did not put much effort in maintaining the relationship. It was long distance relationship though we are all in the same country. But I guess the distance has made me forget of who I am. I tried to keep the relationship but  it did not work out the way it should be. And, last night I did a step forward which I asked my 'bestest' friend about this. I hope that something could be done before it is wayyy too late. And seriously I miss those days so much.

At the same time, I am worried that I am going to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. I never learn from my mistakes instead I am aware of it. I don't even know whether this is a choice made by me or it is written for me. I am afraid of losing and I am very fragile at it. I can be someone that I myself don't even know. A weak person. As for now, it hurts me. A lot.  All of it.


p.s: Can I just wait and see what will happen next??

p.s.s: I miss you.

Thank you note

My best friend did this for me. This picture is one of her first attempts in learning how to make your pictures turn out to be cartoon mode. I LOVE it so much! She is very ambitious and I know that she will survive in what ever challenges lie before her. You can do it my pwetty lady!!

May Allah bless both of you for the rest of your life!

kalau mau, cakap!

kalau mau, cakap!
kalau lah semudah itu, pasti ramai yang tanpa segan silu melahirkan rasa.
pasti ramai yang tidak menjeruk hati.
tentu tiada yang merana jiwa.

kalau mau, cakap!
jika pantas dan senang untuk dilahirkan sayang
mengapa ada yang kecundang.

sayangnya,
kita ini punya banyak rasa.
kita ligat berfikir.
sampai terkadang benda yang remeh menjadi rumit.

jika apa yang kita rasa, mereka juga rasa, mungkin itu lebih mudah.
ia akan lebih mudah jika mereka mampu terima dan hargai.
bukan lari menjauhi.

20102010

The date is unique. If only I could use the date for special occasion or event in my life.

If only.

But, somehow, it is just a number. We, human, that make it special.

Let's wait for another special date which is 20112011.

Hopefully by that time I can share my special moment or special someone here.

InsyaAllah.

The journey

Merbok - Melaka - Shah Alam - Keramat - Gombak - Ipoh - Manjung - Bota -Ipoh - Merbok

Fuhh! What a journey. My friend, my sister and I spent most of the time on the road. I mean, obviously we were inside a car. We talked, we sang, we ate, we slept, we did all these along the way of all these places. And, it took us for a whole weekend to complete this journey.

It was very tiring and it sucked up all my energy yet it was and it is still an interesting trip. I met a lot of people through out the trip. Not just a bunch of people, but lots of interesting incidents as well. The people, the incidents and the memory that no one could buy with money. It is priceless. And, I will treasure the memory!

It was an unplanned meeting that I was able to meet some of them, my love ones. Though I was not able to meet all of my sweethearts but I want them to know that they will always be in my heart. mode jiwang giler okay! ahaha..

Sometimes, we would not have to plan everything. We He says things to be happened, insyaAllah it will happen. It was good to see you. It was unexpected!! Even though it was a short meeting and we were not able to talk a lot, I am very happy. Super happy. Thank you so much for the time spent together.

By the way, it was hard to let you go. I was down with my emotion that night. And, I know it will be harder next time.

Thank you my dear friends and dear sister for being there for me that night. Only Allah could pay for all of your good deeds.

p.s: I love it when you nagged at me. It shows that you are concern, at least! Thank you!

irony

It is irony when you said things but at the end of the day, you did the other way around. And, I am talking about myself. I did mention that I could not be able to stand and cope with silent treatment but hey look what have I done?? I have been neglecting bareessence for two weeks. Poor you my little dear. I did not post any new entries. I did not update any new infos and I just let the blog full with webs here and there.

How could I treat others the way I do not want to be treated?

silent treatment

your silent treatment is killing me.

i seriously dislike this feeling.

i rather listen to your nag.

just spill it out.

.yell.

show me your anger.

tell me that you are mad at me.

but not remain silent.

it drives me crazy u'ollz.

love hurts

...



it hurts me the most when i hurt you.

p.s: forgiven will not necessarily be forgotten!

Sorry seems to be the hardest word!

Serve you right!! Padan la dengan muka kau. Sapa suruh kau pandai-pandai perasan pandai. La ni dah terkantoi baru nak gelabah ayam. Dulu masa kau buat, ada kau fikir apa perasaan dia? Ada kau kisah pasal dia? Kalau benar pun kau terdesak, kenapa buat dan terus buat lagi. Sekarang baru nak menyesal pun dah tak guna. Pasti dia simpan rasa walaupun zahirnya nampak dia seperti tidak kisah. Cubalah kau fikir, siapa tak marah kalau kau dah mencerobohi ruang personal mereka. Kau pun akan marah kalau terkena batang hidung sendiri.

Serve you right!! Mungkin ini antara penghujungnya. Kau tanggung la akibat atas perbuatan kau sendiri. Berani bertanggungjawab dan jangan lari. Kau pandai-pandai buat, pandai-pandailah kau tanggung!!!

p.s: bila rasa menguasai diri, mata jadi buta.